飘

　The　white　house　reared　its　tall　columns　before　her；　seeming　to　withdraw　with　dignified　aloofness　from　her。　It　would　never　be　her　house　now。　Ashley　would　never　carry　her　over　the　threshold　as　his　bride。　Oh；　Ashley；　Ashley！　What　have　I　done？　Deep　in　her；　under　layers　of　hurt　pride　and　cold　practicality；　something　stirred　hurtingly。　An　adult　emotion　was　being　born；　stronger　than　her　vanity　or　her　willful　selfishness。　She　loved　Ashley　and　she　knew　she　loved　him　and　she　had　never　cared　so　much　as　in　that　instant　when　she　saw　Charles　disappearing　around　the　curved　graveled　walk。
　
　CHAPTER　VII
　WITHIN　TWO　WEEKS　Scarlett　had　become　a　wife；　and　within　two　months　more　she　was　a　widow。　She　was　soon　released　from　the　bonds　she　had　assumed　with　so　much　haste　and　so　little　thought；　but　she　was　never　again　to　know　the　careless　freedom　of　her　unmarried　days。　Widowhood　had　crowded　closely　on　the　heels　of　marriage　but；　to　her　dismay；　motherhood　soon　followed。
　In　after　years　when　she　thought　of　those　last　days　of　April；　1861；　Scarlett　could　never　quite　remember　details。　Time　and　events　were　telescoped；　jumbled　together　like　a　nightmare　that　had　no　reality　or　reason。　Till　the　day　she　died　there　would　be　blank　spots　in　her　memories　of　those　days。　Especially　vague　were　her　recollections　of　the　time　between　her　acceptance　of　Charles　and　her　wedding。　Two　weeks！　So　short　an　engagement　would　have　been　impossible　in　times　of　peace。　Then　there　would　have　been　a　decorous　interval　of　a　year　or　at　least　six　months。　But　the　South　was　aflame　with　war；　events　roared　along　as　swiftly　as　if　carried　by　a　mighty　wind　and　the　slow　tempo　of　the　old　days　was　gone。　Ellen　had　wrung　her　hands　and　counseled　delay；　in　order　that　Scarlett　might　think　the　matter　over　at　greater　length。　But　to　her　pleadings；　Scarlett　turned　a　sullen　face　and　a　deaf　ear。　Marry　she　would！　and　quickly　too。　Within　two　weeks。
　Learning　that　Ashley’s　wedding　had　been　moved　up　from　the　autumn　to　the　first　of　May；　so　he　could　leave　with　the　Troop　as　soon　as　it　was　called　into　service；　Scarlett　set　the　date　of　her　wedding　for　the　day　before　his。　Ellen　protested　but　Charles　pleaded　with　new…found　eloquence；　for　he　was　impatient　to　be　off　to　South　Carolina　to　join　Wade　Hampton’s　Legion；　and　Gerald　sided　with　the　two　young　people。　He　was　excited　by　the　war　fever　and　pleased　that　Scarlett　had　made　so　good　a　match；　and　who　was　he　to　stand　in　the　way　of　young　love　when　there　was　a　war？　Ellen；　distracted；　finally　gave　in　as　other　mothers　throughout　the　South　were　doing。　Their　leisured　world　had　been　turned　topsy…turvy；　and　their　pleadings；　prayers　and　advice　availed　nothing　against　the　powerful　forces　sweeping　them　along。
　The　South　was　intoxicated　with　enthusiasm　and　excitement。　Everyone　knew　that　one　battle　would　end　the　war　and　every　young　man　hastened　to　enlist　before　the　war　should　end—hastened　to　marry　his　sweetheart　before　he　rushed　off　to　Virginia　to　strike　a　blow　at　the　Yankees。　There　were　dozens　of　war　weddings　in　the　County　and　there　was　little　time　for　the　sorrow　of　parting；　for　everyone　was　too　busy　and　excited　for　either　solemn　thoughts　or　tears。　The　ladies　were　making　uniforms；　knitting　socks　and　rolling　bandages；　and　the　men　were　drilling　and　shooting。　Train　loads　of　troops　passed　through　Jonesboro　daily　on　their　way　north　to　Atlanta　and　Virginia；　Some　detachments　were　gaily　uniformed　in　the　scarlets　and　light　blues　and　greens　of　select　social…militia　companies；　some　small　groups　were　in　homespun　and　coonskin　caps；　others；　ununiformed；　were　in　broadcloth　and　fine　linen；　all　were　half…drilled；　half…armed；　wild　with　excitement　and　shouting　as　though　en　route　to　a　picnic。　The　sight　of　these　men　threw　the　County　boys　into　a　panic　for　fear　the　war　would　be　over　before　they　could　reach　Virginia；　and　preparations　for　the　Troop’s　departure　were　speeded。
　In　the　midst　of　this　turmoil；　preparations　went　forward　for　Scarlett’s　wedding　and；　almost　before　she　knew　it；　she　was　clad　in　Ellen’s　wedding　dress　and　veil；　coming　down　the　wide　stairs　of　Tara　on　her　father’s　arm；　to　face　a　house　packed　full　with　guests。　Afterward　she　remembered；　as　from　a　dream；　the　hundreds　of　candles　flaring　on　the　walls；　her　mother’s　face；　loving；　a　little　bewildered；　her　lips　moving　in　a　silent　prayer　for　her　daughter’s　happiness；　Gerald　flushed　with　brandy　and　pride　that　his　daughter　was　marrying　both　money；　a　fine　name　and　an　old　one—and　Ashley；　standing　at　the　bottom　of　the　steps　with　Melanie’s　arm　through　his。
　When　she　saw　the　look　on　his　face；　she　thought：　“This　can’t　be　real。　It　can’t　be。　It’s　a　nightmare。　I’ll　wake　up　and　find　it’s　all　been　a　nightmare。　I　mustn’t　think　of　it　now；　or　I’ll　begin　screaming　in　front　of　all　these　people。　I　can’t　think　now。　I’ll　think　later；　when　I　can　stand　it—when　I　can’t　see　his　eyes。”
　It　was　all　very　dreamlike；　the　passage　through　the　aisle　of　smiling　people；　Charles’　scarlet　face　and　stammering　voice　and　her　own　replies；　so　startlingly　clear；　so　cold；　And　the　congratulations　afterward　and　the　kissing　and　the　toasts　and　the　dancing—all；　all　like　a　dream。　Even　the　feel　of　Ashley’s　kiss　upon　her　cheek；　even　Melanie’s　soft　whisper；　“Now；　we’re　really　and　truly　sisters；”　were　unreal。　Even　the　excitement　caused　by　the　swooning　spell　that　overtook　Charles’　plump　emotional　aunt；　Miss　Pittypat　Hamilton；　had　the　quality　of　a　nightmare。
　But　when　the　dancing　and　toasting　were　finally　ended　and　the　dawn　was　coming；　when　all　the　Atlanta　guests　who　could　be　crowded　into　Tara　and　the　overseer’s　house　had　gone　to　sleep　on　beds；　sofas　and　pallets　on　the　floor　and　all　the　neighbors　had　gone　home　to　rest　in　preparation　for　the　wedding　at　Twelve　Oaks　the　next　day；　then　the　dreamlike　trance　shattered　like　crystal　before　reality。　The　reality　was　the　blushing　Charles；　emerging　from　her　dressing　room　in　his　nightshirt；　avoiding　the　startled　look　she　gave　him　over　the　high…pulled　sheet。
　Of　course；　she　knew　that　married　people　occupied　the　same　bed　but　she　had　never　given　the　matter　a　thought　before。　It　seemed　very　natural　in　the　case　of　her　mother　and　father；　but　she　had　never　applied　it　to　herself。　Now　for　the　first　time　since　the　barbecue　she　realized　just　what　she　had　brought　on　herself。　The　thought　of　this　strange　boy　whom　she　hadn’t　really　wanted　to　marry　getting　into　bed　with　her；　when　her　heart　was　breaking　with　an　agony　of　regret　at　her　hasty　action　and　the　anguish　of　losing　Ashley　forever；　was　too　much　to　be　borne。　As　he　hesitatingly　approached　the　bed　she　spoke　in　a　hoarse　whisper。
　“I’ll　scream　out　loud　if　you　come　near　me。　I　will！　I　will—at　the　top　of　my　voice！　Get　away　from　me！　Don’t　you　dare　touch　me！”
　So　Charles　Hamilton　spent　his　wedding　night　in　an　armchair　in　the　corner；　not　too　unhappily；　for　he　understood；　or　thought　he　understood；　the　modesty　and　delicacy　of　his　bride。　He　was　willing　to　wait　until　her　fears　subsided；　only—only—　He　sighed　as　he　twisted　about　seeking　a　comfortable　position；　for　he　was　going　away　to　the　war　so　very　soon。
　Nightmarish　as　her　own　wedding　had　been；　Ashley’s　wedding　was　even　worse。　Scarlett　stood　in　her　apple…green　“second…day”　dress　in　the　parlor　of　Twelve　Oaks　amid　the　blaze　of　hundreds　of　candles；　jostled　by　the　same　throng　as　the　night　before；　and　saw　the　plain　little　face　of　Melanie　Hamilton　glow　into　beauty　as　she　became　Melanie　Wilkes。　Now；　Ashley　was　gone　forever。　Her　Ashley。　No；　not　her　Ashley　now。　Had　he　ever　been　hers？　It　was　all　so　mixed　up　in　her　mind　and　her　mind　was　so　tired；　so　bewildered。　He　had　said　he　loved　her；　but　what　was　it　that　had　separated　them？　If　she　could　only　remember。　She　had　stilled　the　County’s　gossiping　tongue　by　marrying　Charles；　but　what　did　that　matter　now？　It　had　seemed　so　important　once；　but　now　it　didn’t　seem　important　at　all。　All　that　mattered　was　Ashley。　Now　he　was　gone　and　she　was　married　to　a　man　she　not　only　did　not　love　but　for　whom　she　had　an　active　contempt。
　Oh；　how　she　regretted　it　all。　She　had　often　heard　of　people　cutting　off　their　noses　to　spite　their　faces　but　heretofore　it　had　been　only　a　figure　of　speech。　Now　she　knew　just　what　it　meant　And　mingled　with　her　frenzied　desire　to　be　free　of　Charles　and　safely　back　at　Tara；　an　unmarried　girl　again；　ran　the　knowledge　that　she　had　only　herself　to　blame。　Ellen　had　tried　to　stop　her　and　she　would　not　listen。
　So　she　danced　through　the　night　of　Ashley’s　wedding　in　a　daze　and　said　things　mechanically　and　smiled　and　irrelevantly　wondered　at　the　stupidity　of　people　who　thought　her　a　happy　bride　and　could　not　see　that　her　heart　was　broken。　Well；　thank　God；　they　couldn’t　see！
　That　night　after　Mammy　had　helped　her　undress　and　had　departed　and　Charles　had　emerged　shyly　from　the　dressing　room；　wondering　if　he　was　to　spend　a　second　night　in　the　horsehair　chair；　she　burst　into　tears。　She　cried　until　Charles　climbed　into　bed　beside　her　and　tried　to　comfort　her；　cried　without　words　until　no　more　tears　would　come　and　at　last　she　lay　sobbing　quietly　on　his　shoulder。
　If　there　had　not　been　a　war；　there　would　have　been　a　week　of　visiting　about　the　County；　with　balls　and　barbecues　in　honor　of　the　two　newly　married　couples　before　they　set　off　to　Saratoga　or　White　Sulphur　for　wedding　trips。　If　there　had　not